The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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