You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
