He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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