I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I am spending my child support on dildos
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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