P.S. I can't hear my feet
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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