woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
