I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
