Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
