I like my sex mixed with concussions.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
