If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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