You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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