is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
