Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
