Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
