I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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