I think I just saw someone hide a body.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
