its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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