i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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