is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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