we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
