There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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