I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
