people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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