he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
