Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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