I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
