you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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