I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
