i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
