butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
