whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
