I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Say something about gay babies.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
