sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
