The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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