12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
