when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
handjob tips. give me some.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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