i think my mom watched the whole time
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
they need to just BURY HIM!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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