Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
