and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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