I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
