Your tits are I can't wait for
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
