You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
