we have officially lost it.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
