I'm gonna have a badass scar
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
