I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
