What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
