I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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