Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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