i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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