I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
