In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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