I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
