Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
