Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
